EP 2: Money And Me
Hello and welcome to this episode. Today I want to share how my concept of being rich has evolved throughout my life, with its roots in my low-income family background right until today, where I am a post-graduate with a career as a professional in one of the largest industry in Singapore.
My earliest memory from young was my mum drilling into all her three children that our mission in life is to study very hard, do well in exams, get into university, graduate and find a good paying job. In our minds, that was the formula to reach my mum’s target for us and that is supposed to lead us to some “happily ever after’. It was a common notion in society to measure success with the 5Cs when I was young: having cash, owning a private condominium, having a high-flying career that earns me a good five-figure income every month, owning a flashy credit card and having a coveted membership in one of the most expensive country clubs in Singapore. I thought having made it in life was deeply intertwined with material things that I own.
After I received my basic architecture degree, I wasted no time in getting an internship in one of the up and coming architecture practice. During the briefing just after our submission of our final year project, my heart sank in dismay when it was shared that the expected normal market rate of our allowance in the next ten months we would receive as an intern was eight hundred to one thousand Singapore dollars. Bearing in mind twenty percent of it will be automatically deducted from this pay towards my Central Provident Fund, also known as CPF which would be stowed away for my retirement. Coupled with the fact that most architectural practices are in town area, it implied pricier food options during lunch and long commute via public transport.
I had to think of creative ways to stretch my dollars to last the month, cab fares to and fro my project sites that were undergoing construction and working late into the nights. Unfortunately for the construction industry and people working in the creative line, late nights rushing paperwork, competition submissions and project pitches to potential clients are common but we are not paid overtime. Sometimes we get time off, simply because we were too exhausted to function the next day. I had thought naively in my younger days that passion will sustain me throughout my career, but starting my internship, reality hit me. We were expected to dress professionally well as the lead of consultants, and we are constantly judged by our appearance, whether by the clients, Contractors or even sales person selling us kitchen appliance for use in our projects. I was a candle burning at both ends without enough money for my own use and savings and I was tired of all the overtime work where I wasn’t entitled to any extra compensation. There was no way I could even start paying off my student loan with my measly allowance. To satisfy the criteria of working as an intern in no more than 2 firms, each with a minimum tenure of five months, I knew I must act once the minimum tenure of five months was up in the firm. I knew I was a cheap labour compared to a full time staff but I was certain I was a good pair of hands. I demonstrated my willingness to learn the ropes and proved myself to be able to run projects with minimum supervision. I went up to my boss and asked for a pay raise. Or I would leave for another firm. I was quite confident I delivered value to the firm and that they would try to retain me. My bosses probably also thought it was a better bargain to give me a pay raise than go through the whole hiring process and pay more for a full time postgraduate that they have to train all over again anyway. So yes, I was given a fifty percent increment. Yes, that’s right, it’s probably the largest percentage of pay raise I ever received in my working professional life. While a fifty percent pay raise to one thousand and five hundred Singapore dollars might not be alot to many who are listening to me right now but it was an achievement to me as an intern.
I owe it to me to stand up for myself and ask for what I wanted. From this I learned the idea of “Ask and thou shalt be given”. Because if you never ask for what you want, who will ever give it to you? This notion of asking for the amount of what you deserve continues to influence me throughout my career. I was never shy of asking for a pay that commensurates with what I am able to deliver.
Fast forward to being freshly graduated after my Masters degree following the internship, I was thrust into the 2007 financial crisis with two student loans to pay off concurrently. It was an understatement to say my dreams of reaching the 5Cs quickly evaporated by the harsh realities of the job market within weeks. My industry was hit hard, projects dried up and hiring was tightened. I found work eventually in a small architecture practice. With an eye-watering starting pay, I worked out my numbers in an attempt to pay off my debts as soon as possible to incur the lowest amount of interest and I was left with $200 for spending every month. This was after setting aside my obligation to provide my mum with a humble allowance and necessity expenses like transport fees. I was under a lot of money stress that I imposed onto myself at that time, of how I need this or I have to own that item just to prove I have made it in life as a grown up.
I was thankful in the Asian culture, the concept of grown-up children staying with their parents until we are married is prevalent and that really saved me alot of money instead of renting a place of my own. The concept of owning material things to reach a grown-up status befitting a professional was deep-rooted in me. It was a period where I struggled with having to overhaul a wardrobe of jeans and t-shirts from my varsity days to appropriate work attire for the office out of necessity with balancing my dreams of chasing the 5Cs. I have since grown to realise everything in life has choices. You can choose to buy a high end brand piece of clothing or you can use the same amount to buy 10 pieces of factory-produced work wear that you can mix and match to wear over a week from a local retail mall. Just like you could spend a few thousand dollars on a country club membership when you don’t play golf or you could spend a fraction of that amount hanging out with your friends at the local mall over a simple meal.
It was only much later on in my life that through my self-reflection that I realised my quest for material things was in fact to make up for a lack of security since childhood. To me having physical things to show that I have made it in life meant alot to me, even though I had no idea or clue how to be rich quickly.
With little to almost no financial literacy, I was very glad I have a friend who taught me about financial management and the concept of how I work hard but I must make my money work harder for me. I was introduced to the concept of how being poor is at the bottom of the pyramid and to work to the apex of being rich at the top of the pyramid, one needs to first work towards being comfortable, which is the middle layer of the pyramid. Of course, the definition of being comfortable can mean very differently from person to person and there are many avenues to grow your wealth which I will leave to the financial experts to advice you. However, what I did learn is that you cannot grow rich overnight. It takes years of hard work and consistency to invest your money and in yourself in order to see your wealth grow. I have also learnt spending money to buy material things to blindly follow societal standards to appear rich is not the way. For instance, buying a private condominium when you cannot afford the monthly mortgages and high maintenance fees will only stress you out further. This will leave you grumpy and with little choice but to get stuck in a job you hate in order to pay off the monthly housing loan mortgage and having almost no money to go out to meet with your friends and socialise over dinner. These are trade-offs I had to balance between owning material things and quality of life.
However, I found out developing gratitude with what you can afford and what you have in the moment, will instead leave me with plenty to appreciate life. It wasn’t an easy journey but one of self-discovery and finding out which option is the best of what I can afford at that moment. The shift in mindset took me years but it is with this gratitude I developed which helped me to stay grounded in an otherwise hectic life that moves past me like a whirlwind.
So for you listening in today in my podcast, are there any areas in your life you think you may be stuck in? Or are you able to take a step back to have a re-think about options available? I will encourage you to think and think again, then maybe you will realise, you are actually free to make your own choice.
